Simon Says (2006)
Plot: Five college students decide to spend their vacation digging for gold, they find the perfect place to camp out, only to find out that area was the scene of a massacre. They end up crossing paths with Simon and Stanley (both played by Crispin Glover), backwoods twin brothers with a fondness for booby traps rigged with flying pickaxes. Now, the teens must claw their way out of the woods without springing one of the brothers’ ingeniously lethal snares.
My Review: You must know that this movie isn’t what I would call good. The plot isn’t very good, but its not horrible. Its one of those movies where the backstory can be told in one small paragraph but that’s okay, you don’t really need more. Its nothing special, but come on, most horror movies aren’t. It also doesn’t take itself completely serious. Its very easy to laugh at a lot of what goes on in it. Its sorta cheesy.
What drew me to this movie – other then a friend suggesting it – was Crispin Glover. He plays Jimmy in Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter. And so I’ve always had a fondness for him and his weird roles. I figured he’d be a great killer, or in this case killers. But his over the top acting bothered me a bit. I know he’s a great actor, and he was just overdoing it, but it sorta ruined the movie for me.
The characters were nothing great either, they were just there to die, which was fine by me. The movie did have its really low budge moments, and a lot of laughs. But it really wasn’t that horrible. A favorite of mine? Probably not. One I’ll watch again? Maybe in a few years.
Gore/FX: The gore was the best part of the entire movie by far! It was gross but that’s great for a horror fan. The kills were very creative which was nice to see. There was none of that CGI crap here. Blood and guts galore!
Sexual Content: I’m pretty sure I saw naked breasts for a second or two while a girl flashes someone, and maybe another shot of the same girl in the woods a little while later.
Acting: As said above, Crispin was really over the top while playing the “normal” twin, and fine while playing the “slow” twin. The rest of the group weren’t great, but they weren’t horrible. It was tolerable….and I’m pretty picky about bad acting…
Overall: It’s a slightly cheesy movie, its not really all that serious in some moments. So if you are going in expecting a hardcore horror movie that’s mind blowing and amazing you’ll probably hate it. Go in expecting comedy and gore you’ll probably enjoy it, especially if you are a fan of Crispins.
View The Trailer