Staunton Hill (2009)

Plot: In 1969, a group 20-somethings hitchhike to a rally and are picked up by a kind stranger. They are soon looking for help when their truck breaks down, and they run into a deranged family. Now the friends are in a desperate fight for their lives in the isolated backcountry.

My Review: You know those “creepy family” movies. Like Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Wrong Turn? Devil’s Rejects? Do you know their formula? You know the one, 20-somethings go traveling, take a shortcut or wrong turn at the advice of a stranger (someone who’s usually in on it when the family or part of the family)  and they end up meeting with this “creepy family” who ends up dismembering them for food or entertainment or for whatever reason. Well, this is that sort of movie.

There is nothing special about this movie. It doesn’t stick out in my head as being great. It just is. The characters don’t have much of a background, they bring up stuff but don’t elaborate on it, so why bring it up in the first place. Such as this “love triangle”. Brief mention of one girl being the ex of another, while another girl has stepped in. But later on in the movie that scenario doesn’t really make sense. Poor writing I guess. Also, with poor writing comes poor hair and makeup & more bad writing. This movie didn’t play out like it took place in the 60′s.

Nothing really happened in the movie for the first hour. Which is pretty much the formula for all horror movies these days. Good horror movies know how to fill that time with fun entertaining elements. This movie didn’t. When something does finally happen, it seems its all over pretty quickly.

Lets not forget about the ……SPOILER ALERT but not really….the person who’s in on it from the beginning. SO super obvious! Seriously, they didn’t think anyone had that figured out within the first 5 minutes of the guy being on screen? Really? Wow! At the very end of the movie when they unveil it its like “duh no shit Sherlock!” Like I said in the beginning of this review, its part of the formula to these “creepy family” sorts of movies. They drag it out in this one, and its just no surprise.

Really, this “creepy family” type of movie is getting VERY old! It seems like these days its super repetitive. Its like whenever there is a group of teens or young adults off in some location its gotta be that creepy family who comes along and kills them.

At the end I found myself wondering what I had just seen at the end. It made no sense, and they didn’t go on to explain anything. Did they set this up for a sequel or something? I dunno. Its pretty much the type of film I expected when I saw that it was based around a “creepy family” but the unanswered questions really bothered me. Especially after hanging around and watching the entire movie. For example, throughout the movie we are shown this girl being operated on by some dr. Who is she? Whats her story? Its never fully explained. There are some assumptions we can make, but its never 100% told to us. It makes it seem pointless. Unless I was just so bored I spaced out during the scene. I’m not sure, but I’m almost positive she’s not really explained.

Gore/FX: I was really surprised by the extent of the gore they showed.  I figured with it being semi low budget there would be some terrible gore in it. But there wasn’t. Once it got down to it they showed someone being sliced, and gutted and skinned. It was rather graphic. There aren’t a lot of shots like that though. So don’t expect too much.

Sexual Content: Nothing. A couple suggestive shots. One of a girl in a bra. But nothing other then that.

Acting: The acting was a LOT better then I expected. It wasn’t anywhere near great. But it was VERY tolerable.

Overall: I didn’t mind it. The movie didn’t have too much going for it, but it wasn’t BAD, it just wasn’t all that entertaining. A couple more entertaining scenes, or a little more backstory, maybe even a sex scene, and the movie could have been much better.

[rating:2/5]

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One Response to Staunton Hill (2009)

  • avatar
    kyl says:

    …yep.., you summed it up quite well.., wish only that I had seen your review b4 I watched it to the end…, cuz, WHO THEE HELL IZ THAT BLONDE CHICK ON THEE OPERATING TABLE WITH THEE SQUIRTING ARTERY, AND THEE MISSING FOOT..???.., AND, WHAT IS THEE SIGNIFICANCE..??? AND, (while we’re at it, who are thee “operating room “personnel..???)

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