Halloween: XXX Porn Parody (2011)

 

Plot: Spoof porn! It was on Halloween night that a young Michael Myers inexplicably slaughtered his slutty older sister (RAVEN ALEXIS). Fifteen later, he escapes a mental hospital and returns home. Spotting a scholarly looking teenager, Laurie (LILY LABEAU), the deranged psychopath Michael lusts after her and stalks her. Finding her trampy friends, Annie (ANDY SAN DIMAS) and Lynda (LEXI BELLE) engaging in carnal acts with their boyfriends on Halloween eve, just as his sister did years ago, sets Michael off. While her friends are off engaging in sex acts and getting killed, the responsible Laurie is at home babysitting. Unable to reach her friends by phone, Laurie becomes suspicious and walks across the street to Annie’s darkened house and comes face to face with Michael Myers himself.

My Review: I’m doing this review as a cross post between Haddonfield and Shivers of Horror. I’ve never reviewed an adult flick before, and given the fact that these sites are not based on adult films, I’m reviewing it like I would any other horror flick. I don’t mind adult films, but these sites aren’t based on them and I know we have a lot of underage followers so I’d like to concentrate on the spoof angle of this film instead of the sex angle. Besides these sorts of adult films are so made for the fans of the real films!

The film starts off with someone watching from a window as a couple makes out on a couch. They eventually go upstairs and have sex. Much like the original film, only this time we get to see the full sex scene obviously. The girls annoying fake screams sorta ruined it as did a volume issue in the beginning so I had to continue it on mute. Michael enters the house, kills the sister and the parents come home to find him.

In the next scene we have Dr. Loomis and the nurse driving to the asylum. They pull over to have sex in the backseat. When they are done they notice the patients wondering around and get attacked by Michael.

The next day comes along and we are introduced to Laurie, who in this version walks down the street on her own (and there are tons of garbage cans around that just seem so out of place for being in a movie)but no Tommy. They had to avoid having anyone under the age of 18 I’m sure. So they also didn’t show young Myers in the beginning…which made me wonder what they’d do later in the film when they were supposed to be babysitting. But they just omitted them completely, which was fine, this is an adult film, but it alters a lot of the scenes.

They switched out scenes of being in the school which posed a little problem later. While Laurie is walking to school she drops off the key at the Myers house, and continues walking. All of the sudden its after school and she sees Michael standing there on the road (his mask is hilarious here) and then Lynda and Annie show up and Myers does his drive by.  I love the scene when he hides behind the bush and Annie says stuff about his big cock. And the scene where we see Paul tell Laurie he wants to see her eat Annie’s pussy. Those were just hilarious because in my mind as a huge Halloween fan I’m not thinking about these porno actors, I’m actually thinking about the original actors and I just found it all hilarious!

Yes, that’s right in this version we meet Paul. He and Annie have sex and try to get Laurie in on a threesome. Plus Michael is right outside the window watching the whole thing.

Even though they switch out some of the scenes for other scenes they still include a lot of the conversations and key points that are needed to continue the “classic” Halloween.

Here are a few observations & nitpicks:

In one shot Laurie see’s Michael outside by the pool. If you look closely his hand is a black mans hand. I think he is in a few other scenes too, but at the end he’s a white guy.

Why is Laurie getting her rocks off to a horror movie, spread eagle in the living room while she’s babysitting? That just seemed really odd to me.

I’ve always loved the Myers dressed up as a ghost scene in the original. And they do repeat I here. I love how Lynda says “See anything you wanna fuck?” haha!

The final sex scene I was expecting from the moment I heard this XXX parody existed. Laurie and Michael do it. I was a little surprised by his attire though. I figured they’d go with the classic Myers look. Not entirely sure why they didn’t.

Gore/FX: They stay away from it almost entirely, which is a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you want it. I’m not sure I’d be a fan of “horror porn” as one minute your kinda scared, the next there is blood and guts, and the next there is porno fucking going on. I think I once saw a clip of a zombie porno, and it just turned my stomach. What they did have for gore wasn’t terrible, Judith had really fake red blood on her boobs, no wounds or anything, and later there is a computerized blood spray. I think that’s about it.

Sexual Content: Of course there is sex, it’s a porno. We get to see Judith & her boyfriend, Annie & Paul, Lynda and Bob, Loomis and the nurse, Laurie pleasing herself, and last but not least Laurie and Micahel screwing. All the panting in the first sex scene and the overacting (as most porno flicks are known for) was highly annoying. The sound was messed up a bit, because her screams were wicked loud, but their talking was wicked low. Thankfully that cleared up in later scenes. It was really distracting that all the actresses had tattoos or giant bruises on them.

Acting: Not nearly as bad as I expected. Obviously it’s a porno flick so it doesn’t have great acting, but it was much better then some low budget horror flicks I’ve seen. Funny enough I liked Dr. Loomis a lot better then Rob Zombie’s Dr. Loomis!

Special Features: You can choose to watch just the sex scenes, or the whole movie with a plot. You can also choose which sort of sex scene you’d like to watch. There is a 20 minute behind the scenes documentary, Photo Gallery and previews.

Overall: When I heard this was made, I just had to see it. Thanks to SmashDVDs.com for giving me a review copy. I encourage all you 18 and older Halloween fans to check it out at some point. It is kinda funny. Interesting to see a “what if” it had included real sex in it. This is the first adult parody I’ve ever seen. I’m interested in viewing others! I know there is a Freddy one coming out by a different studio (creepy!) and I haven’t heard of a Friday the 13th one other then A Nude Beginning, which I hear has nothing to do with Jason. I’m giving this a 3/5 for a rating because it was entertaining for a first go around. Don’t think I’ll rewatch it ever. But definitely interesting for a one time viewing for long time fans of the series.

[rating:3/5]

View The Trailer @ FleshBot (18yrs and older only please!)

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6 Responses to Halloween: XXX Porn Parody (2011)

  • avatar
    Evildead13th says:

    Was there any nudity? LMFAO!!! You actaully watched it?!! You rock! That’s all I can say is that you rock! Freddy is next? Uhh..considering he was into children (depending on which NOES you are referring to, remake or original) that would be a BIG pass for me but I’m sure they wouldn’t go that route as it’s illegal and EXTREMELY fucked up. Aside from that, I need to find out how I can get a review copy of porn in the future as I would be an excellent canidate and reviewer for that! ;)Excellent review as usuall! Keep up the great work!!

     
  • avatar
    Kat says:

    Haha you’re too funny!

    Of course there was nudity, it was a full on porno flick lmao.

    I have NO idea what they’ll do with the Freddy porno. I did see a trailer for it. It looked terrible. I couldn’t imagine watching Freddy have sex with people!

    I got the review copy because I requested it from the company as soon as I saw there was one, and offered to put these reviews up after I had seen it 🙂

     
  • avatar
    Evildead13th says:

    Lol! I know there was nudity, just my joking sarcasm at work. 😉 They should have subtitled it: The night he CUMS home! LOL!!!!

     
  • avatar
    Kat says:

    HAHAHA, too funny. Yeah that would have been a good subtitle to it!

     
  • avatar
    William says:

    Would you believe there is actually another HALLOWEEN XXX spoof out there now? I reviewed both of them at my site:

    http://originalvidjunkie.blogspot.com/2011/10/halloween-havoc-dueling-halloween-porn.html

     
  • avatar
    mad hatter says:

    does anyone know what movie lily labeau is masturbating to

     

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