Plot: The screams — and laughs — come fast and furious in this anthology of four tongue-in-cheek horror tales, each from a different writer/director. The baddies range from a gang of gay “werebears” and a monster sperm to Nazi madmen and zombies.

My Review: I went into this movie not knowing a thing about it other then Adam Green had something to do with it. I love his films Hatchet & Frozen, and that’s why I requested this to review on BluRay. Once I read a description of it, I was a little leery of it, because B movies aren’t my sort of thing…At all.  In fact, I stay far far away from that. But I already had the product at home that I had to review.

The movie starts off with a guy digging up his dead wife. She’s mummified and he’s drinking and bitching about never getting his “needs” fulfilled. So he whips out his dick for a little “dead head” and she comes to life and bites off his dick. The guy wonders off through a Drive-in showing a bunch of “splatter” films. There we meet a few different characters; a couple and a baby, another car with three 20 somethings, another couple, and the owner of the drive-in. Between each movie showing at the drive-in we are taken back to a few of these characters for their wrap-around zombie story.

The first story begins with “Wadzilla”. The story of a guy who attempts to donate sperm but is turned down because he only ever shoots out one, and its sluggish. The Dr (Ray Wise) gives him an experimental drug to help him out with his problem. The medication has bad results however. Every time he gets aroused his sperm enlarges so its super painful. He’s told to stop taking the medication, and every time he feels pain to quickly masturbate and get the sperm out of him. Of course, he keeps getting aroused and his sperm keep getting bigger and bigger and eventually one takes over New York….

This one had that “old drive-in” look too it. It wasn’t crisp quality like one would think from a BluRay DVD. But seeing as how its an “old” movie people are watching at a drive-in that’s to be expected.

Next up is “I was a Teenage Werebear”. This one starts out with a teen and a girl getting it on in a van. The two teens break into song…which was really funny, because it reminded me of Grease a little before they even started singing and I wasn‘t expecting a musical at all from this film. Anyhow, these three guys show up, they look like a toss up of some 50s greasers and BSDM bondage homosexuals. The whole vibe of them in the first 5 minutes from being on screen was like a mix between the T-Birds (again from Grease) and The Lost Boys (they use some lines from that movie actually, so my feeling was correct). When the “werebears” get pissed off they morph into guys in leather with wolf faces. The musical aspect of the story was funny..especially the “love bit me on the ass” part. But if your looking for people who can sing, don’t expect much.

This one looked crisp and clear, exactly what you’d expect from a BluRay DVD. This one was really done in the style of those 60s beach musical films, and while it was entertaining to me quickly became boring by the end.

Next up was “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein”, I honestly thought I’d love this segment because its Adam Green’s and Kane Hodder is in it. But I was extremely disappointed that I had to read subtitles for the entire thing. If I wanted to read subtitles I’d watch a foreign movie. Because of this, I lost interest FAST…in fact, I had to stop the movie briefly (which I hate doing when I’m going to be reviewing it, but it was out of my control unfortunately) and I just dragged on getting back to it because I didn’t want to finish this segment.

Anyhow, the basic plot to this one is that the Nazi’s find Anne Frank and her family and kill them. They get a book with the instructions on how to make “Frankenstein’s Monster” as the Franks were really Frankenstein’s. So, they build a monster who looks like a rabbi.

This one was sorta done with that “backyard” feeling. Not so much the acting. But the concept of the story. It took a serious subject matter (Nazi’s, Anne Frank, and Hitler) and made a comedy out of it. So those that might be offended shouldn’t watch. You had scenes where it was obviously a set, or an actor was replaced by another actor for a minute and then switched back. While this was all done on purpose. I just did not like this story at all.

“Deathication”, it’s the last “movie” playing at the drive-in. I briefly read another review midway through watching this, and someone said they had to skip over it because it was so disgusting. Of course that just made me more curious because the rest of the movie hadn’t been gross at all…

In the beginning of this “segment” there is a warning…and well, you can kinda guess what’s coming based on the title and what they talk about…defecation. This isn’t really a “story” within the movie, its more like the beginning of a bunch of random clips of people taking shits on sidewalks, exploding shits on walls, dogs eating shit, etc etc. If you have a weak stomach, this isn’t for you, but its over pretty quickly. If you like shit humor, you’ll probably find it quite funny. While this plays on the Drive-in screen we get taken back to the characters at the drive-in and the whole Zombie wrap-around storyline which ends the film.

The main zombie storyline was entertaining and fun for the brief period of time it took place during, and I really enjoyed all the characters. I liked the whole concept of having an anthology horror film take place at a theater or drive-in and have the wrap around storyline.

There were tons and tons of quotes at the end of the film taken from many horror movies. But I was very happy to see one taken from Monster Squad, which is a very awesome “horror” movie. Sorta like a mix between the Goonies and a horror story. Not many know about it, but its pretty cool. Anyhow, I was happy to see that quote in there as well as a few others. Speaking of quotes I loved the girl shouting “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw”. I don’t know if this is a quote from another movie, but I found it funny considering I say something similar when I’m irritated or something goes wrong, I generally shout “fuck me with a fork”.

On top of all the quotes from other movies, there are TONS of cameos. Some I even see listed in the credits and have no idea where they were in the movie. Kane Hodder, Ron Jeremy, Ray Wise, etc. So be on the lookout for those.

Gore/FX: Some bright blue ball juice. The CGI was a little cruddy for the most part. It probably was supposed to be, but honestly, had they actually tried to make the effects better, I would have enjoyed it a little more. I mean, why bother with CGI gore? it’s a movie that had movies based in other times, so why not have classic makeup effects? I’m just a sucker for that sort of stuff no matter what “kind” of movie it is. The gore during the last few minutes makes up for some of that, they actually went with the good stuff. But I would have liked to have seen it used all throughout the movie.

Sexual Content: There are tons of sexual things about this movie. At first there wasn’t that much nudity, just a male butt, and some balls (fake I’m guessing, it was a quick shot), in the beginning of the final segment there is a set of boobs….but then all of the sudden everyone at the drive in is fucking and masturbating and performing oral sex. Yeah, if you’ve ever wanted to see Zombie’s doing this…your watching the right movie. While its gross, and funny, its also pretty gory. You also see a dick…again fake…and even though I don’t have a dick…YIKES what happens with it!

Acting: Given that it’s a B-movie. Its pretty cool that the acting is really decent. And that there are tons of camo’s in the film as mentioned above.

BluRay DVD Special Features: Included in the BluRay DVD version there is a Video Commentary, “Making of” the Diary of Anne Frankenstein, Wadzilla & Zom-B-Movie Deleted scenes, I was a Teenage Werebear Behind the Scenes & Deleted Scenes, Famous Monsters which is a 6 minute interview with the directors/writers of each segment talking about how they came up with the entire film. Also included are some trailers and another short (8 minute) interview with the creators of Chillerama.

Overall: Bottom line on this movie, if your expecting a serious horror film. Keep looking, this one is NOT it. I honestly probably won’t be watching this one again, but hey at least I can say I’ve seen it now and for what it was, it was actually entertaining for the most part. Given the average overall rating of each segment, and the fact that I don‘t normally like B-horror films, I’d probably give this one a 2.5/5 stars total because at least I was somewhat entertained.

My Rating:

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