Jason Goes to Hell (1993)
Plot: Jason has been tracked down by an FBI task force and blown to smithereens. But it doesn’t appear to have stopped him. In the cold dim morgue the coroner deems Jason’s heart tasteful and takes a huge bite out of it, transferring Jason’s dark spirit into his body. However, the body will is not strong enough to carry such an evil spirit, and soon he must find another one, one that fits him better, one that is related to him by blood. The body of his sister, or his niece….
My Review: I honestly had no clue that I was going to review this today, otherwise I would have paid more attention to it while I watched it in my chat room with a friend. Quite frankly, most of the time I throw this one on its because I’m doing a marathon and don’t want to skip it. The truth is, I really dislike this movie. Its probably the one I “hate” the most. I’ll get to why in a moment.
The movie starts off with a “nerdy” woman driving to a secluded cabin on Crystal Lake. She fixes a light bulb and then decides to strip down and take a shower, she ends up being very pretty. Of course the lights go out, and Jason makes his presence known. The woman takes off running in a towel – which never falls off or even moves – into a field of sorts where a bunch of FBI guys jump out from their hiding places and start shooting the shit out of Jason. Eventually blowing him into little bits and pieces. Now, this whole sequence is actually pretty decent. The problem with it, is that its at the beginning of a Friday The 13th movie, not the end. And because of this is causes the problem of, “ok, how to bring Jason back now” so the writers decided “hey, lets make Jason some sort of weird creature that body jumps from person to person, and only a magical dagger used by one of his family members that we will now magically create can kill him” So, the coroner thinks Jason’s heart looks tasty, and he gobbles it right up, thus turning him into Jason. Unfortunately the stupidness doesn’t stop there, and neither does the body jumping. Jason leaps into a few different bodies over the course of the next couple days.
Somehow, someway, Jason now has relatives (his mother said Jason was her only child, so its gotta be on his fathers side) and he somehow knows they all of the sudden exist. Oh yeah and there is a big “Vorhees” house. Yup, they couldn’t even spell Voorhees right in the movie. Good Job New Line…So, all these new elements bring up tons of other questions. First of all, why did Jason live in a shack in the woods if he had a big house in town? How did nobody know about Jason’s family living there all this time, why were they never mentioned before? And on and on the list goes. Of course they then bring in a bounty hunter, Duke, who’s past with Jason was completely deleted from the film, but its obvious Jason did something to Duke in the past because he asks Jason if he remembers him. Duke knows all about Jason’s family, and the house, oh, and some magical dagger that can kill Jason. BUT only if a “Voorhees” uses it on Jason. Say what? What the fuck were they smoking when they wrote this? I’m not saying that to be mean to the creators of this film. I’m saying it because I honestly don’t know how they thought it was GOOD to bring all of this into a movie in the 9th film…heck in all one film. Maybe spread it out over a couple movies and it would have been more acceptable. But wow, this is just utter garbage to me! So how the hell DID Duke know about all this shit?
Ok, so where was I in this crappy movie? Oh yes. So, Jason somehow survived the toxic waste in the sewers of NY (Rennie’s screwed up little mind played that trick on her I’d guess) and he’s somehow back in Crystal Lake. He attacks that woman, gets blown up, the coroner eats his heart, and he goes on a rampage trying to get to his sister Diana, so he can be “reborn” in his own body through her body..otherwise the body he’s in can’t keep him contained for long, and he’s gotta jump into a new one. Oh, and for some reason, when he or others see his reflection in the mirror, its not the reflection of the body he’s in, but of Jason himself. Okay? Weird! So, Jason hops into another body (after stripping the guy nude and shaving him…WHAT?! WHY?!?!) and he goes right to his sister’s house where he attempts to get his weird tongue creature thing into her mouth to take over her body and be reborn. But her daughters ex-boyfriend, Steven shows up. He tries to take control over the situation, but Diana ends up dead, and Steven gets blamed and arrested for it.
By this point Duke has been arrested for harassing Diana, and Steven soon becomes his cellmate. He explains everything to Steven about Diana, the body jumping, etc. For some reason Duke is a sadistic son of a bitch and breaks a bunch of Steven’s fingers for the information. Steven manipulates his friend who’s a cop and escapes jail in search of Diana’s daughter, Jessica, so they can kill Jason together. Things don’t go as planned and there is a bunch more body jumping and eventually there is a showdown with Jessica, Duke, Steven, and Jason.
Gore/FX: There is a really good gore scene in the unrated version. Don’t think its in the rated version. Its also a pretty decent sex scene too. A chick gets ripped the fuck in half while riding a guy naked. Its probably one of my favorite deaths in the series. Funny enough it was added to the movie later on and not there originally. There are a few creative deaths, like the mouth punch, the heads smashing together and the sex scene I mentioned.
Sexual Content: There are a couple pairs of boobs, and the sex scene mentioned above. Jason’s weird little demon baby creature also enters someone through their pussy..
Acting: The acting was actually very very decent for a Friday The 13th film. Honestly, I grew up on these movies, so I don’t find the acting bad really in any of them. But people like to tell me all the time that this series has some of the worst acting ever. So who knows. All I can tell you is that I didn’t find anything wrong with it.
Overall: To me the movie honestly isn’t all that memorable. Its not the fault of the actors, it was just a really bad story. The budget was decent, the acting decent. Just a shitty shitty story, and for that I give it a bad rating. For a 9th movie in a series you shouldn’t completely fuck with the legend!
My Rating:
